It is a great disservice to sire children and then not let them grow up in the matrimonial home. With the exception of children losing their parents to death, or a divorce due to infidelity, there is no reason why children should not be raised in their matrimonial homes. That these children grow up in the absence of one or both parents. Having grown up in a christian home, sex was only a preserve for the married. Obviously early on I didn’t fully understand this. But I now understand why this was so important. I was fortunate to have been raised in a matrimonial home. And I realise the importance.

Children have a right to be raised by two parents in the same matrimonial home. Since children did not chose to be on this earth. Both parents have an obligation to set aside their differences and raise the kids to a point where they leave home and fend for themselves. One of the main reasons why children are being forced not to grow up in their matrimonial homes is the the result of fathers who chose not to take responsibility and walk out on their families. And continue their lives as if nothing has happened. Unplanned pregnancies due to premarital sex between people who have not committed to each other leads to fathers coming up with lame statements like ‘I am not ready to be a father yet’ or ‘she is not the one I want to marry.’ But you were quite happy to indulge? The results of this irresponsible behaviour is that children are brought into this world where they are raised in a dysfunctional home. A single parent household is not ideal for bringing ups a child. Yes there are many house holds like this but it is not ideal. A child needs a mother and a father under the same roof. I emphasise under the same roof, because often times fathers who have gone away think its okay when they send money each month and see the children once a month for a day. They pat themselves on the back and say they are doing the best they can. Another scenario is the pursuit of employment to such an extent that the family suffers. Going abroad and leaving families  decades, even though there maybe regular visits is not an ideal way to raise children. There can be all sorts of rationales but the fact is that the children are not raised in a matrimonial home and the effects will generally be the same. With this said not all cases are like this and many children have been raised by grand parents and single parents and they have turned out fine. But the majority of the cases do not have such happy endings and a good example I have seen is South Africa where their many social problems can be traced back to absent fathers in the lives of children especially young boys. These boys find solace in gangs while the young girls find solace in blessers. Let us think carefully about our actions in regards to having children and intentionally plan for our children. If you are not ready to have children then abstain from sleeping with women. If you do have children, take responsibility, build a home (not necessarily a house) for them and create a conducive atmosphere for them to grow and thrive.

OTHER BLOGGERS

Day 26 – Children born out of matrimonial homes

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