A transcript from the the lesson Saving Marriages presented at the Southern Africa International Lectureship, Johannesburg, 2013.

Also Read Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Help meet
– Praise god everyday that she is the one he has given you as a help meet
– help meet used 19 times in the Bible as a reference to God.
– God has come alongside human kind as a helper
– I want the women that are married and those that are to be married to revision how you view yourself
– God has given you to your husband, God is sending you to stand by him as he exe cutes imperatives within the Kingdom of God
– Lives a holy life, leads his family, prays to God everyday, preaches the word of God whatever chance he gets, lives the Godly life, lives the example in the community, and walks into that community as a man of God who walks victorious
– Cannot walk in this world like a man who is a weakling because you walk with God
– And it doesn’t mean you must call on your arrogance and try to be a great big shot, but you walk with God and you walk in humility
– So God has given you your wife as a helper
– Everytime you look at your wife it should be as if you are looking into the face of God.
– I challenge you to look at your wife like as someone who is a little appendix, that you say well I can do without her
– I promise you you can’t!, God does not make mistakes

Male responsibilities
– Some may say they are gender sensitive and say they don’t take kindly to patriachy but hear this;

10 incidences in the Bible where God holds the man responsible and calls him to account
1. Calls him to account because God created Adam first – Genesis 2vs 7, 18 -23, 1 Timothy 2vs13
– Because of the order of God, he says I created you first, hence you will be held accountable

2. The representation
Adam not Eve had the special role of representing the human race 1 Corinthians 15vs 22, Romans 5 vs 12-21

3. The naming of the woman
A naming of authority. Adam named Eve, eve did not name Adam.
– In the East at the time the naming of someone could only be done by a higher authority
– When Israel were taken into captivity they were renamed
– It tells you about ownership
– When we became Christians we were renamed, we became Christians.
– Abraham was renamed.
– We know these things are powerful and extremely significant

4. naming of the Human race
God named the human race man and not woman Genesis 5 vs 2

5. Primary Accountability
Even when there was the fall and Eve was the one who sinned before God Genesis 3 vs 9. God called Adam to give an account. He does not go and bypass Adam and call his wife and say I want to talk with you. He says I want to talk to you Adam,  because you are the head of the house.

6. The Purpose
Eve was created as a helper for Adam and not Adam as a helper for Eve Genesis 2vs18, 1 Corinthians 11vs9

7. The Conflict
The curse brought a distortion of previous roles not an introduction of new roles Genesis 3vs16

8. The Restoration
Salvation in Christ in the New Testament reaffirms the creation order Colossians 3vs18-19

9. The Mystery
Marriage from the beginning of creation was a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church Ephesians 5vs30-33

10. The Parallel is with the trinity
The equality, the differences and equality in the trinity are linked with a marriage relationship 1 Corinthians 11vs3

Bro Derreck Beukes has a a full 200 page thesis on Marital Thesis, the first on African soil that a theoretical consideration of marital therapy has been given a proper theological framework

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