Once people are in a relationship it seems all rationale and instinct are thrown out the window. Maybe that is the effect of ‘falling in love’. But while a couple is going out that is the time to keep your eyes open and to find out as much about your partner as possible. Your inquiries maybe seen as too snoopy but you need to safe guard yourself. But too often many go into relationships with their eyes closed.

Differing faiths
Mostly a problem if both of you are convicted of your beliefs. How can two walk together unless they agree. Belief plays an important role in a relationship[ and generally advisable to marry within your own faith, especially if religion is something you cannot compromise.

Pressure to Have sex
If your partner is pressurising you to engage in sexual activity and you do not want then that’s a red flag you need to be aware of. If they cannot respect your decision to abstain and they are not prepared to wait then let them go their way and make it clear to them. Chances are that’s all they want. After the act they will be on their way or they will ‘change’. He is not prepared to discuss marriage yet he wants to sleep with you?

Abuse
Verbal and physical abuse are a clear sign that the relationship is not healthy for you. If a person talks to the one person he professes love it in a disrespectful or abusive way then you have no business staying there. It will only get worse and will even lead to physical abuse. If he speaks to you in a demeaning way in front of friends. Beware. If he raises his hand to you. Go. There is no excuse. Men are also physically, verbally and emotionally abused but society does not take their cries seriously hence they also stay in toxic relationships because of fear of society which will most likely tell them to ‘man up’.

Over Possessive
If your partner cannot trust you and is constantly wanting to know where you are, what you doing, who just called you, who were you talking to, then they maybe too possessive. Relationships are founded on trust else insecurity can have a person seeing things and running away from shadows.

Selfishness
If a your partner only thinks about themselves then they are going to be a problem. Self centredness has no room in a flourishing relationship. Which is why the bible says the two shall become one. You have to give up yourself to become one with your partner. If you are still ‘two’ in your relationship then its not likely going to work.

Keep a clear mind when in your relationship so that you make rationale decision. Sex and alcohol will cloud your judgement. Most of these signs are apparent from the word go or shortly there after but most times those ‘in love’ ignore such and just rather focus on the levy divvy times and home that they will carry them through. Tough issues need to be confronted and if your partner loves you and wants to be the for the long haul then they must be prepared to face the difficult times and deal with issues NOW not later.

OTHER BLOGGERS

Day 29 – Signs that you are in a toxic relationship

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