In the Name of Love

Photo by Thelma Goronga

Present day

I am listening to Mai Tt and Zizoe’s song Ufambe Neni. My favourite part of the whole song is “Love is a beautiful thing… Mwari rudo… Chikuru rudo” As I am listening to this I feel like I need to rectify what I wrote in my last post. I have had awful experiences in my relationships, but I have also had amazing ones. Some people have done pretty dope, sweet as well as crazy and memorable things for me in the name of love……..

The DOPEAge 15

It is my birthday today!!! I feel nothing but gratitude to have lived so far. Today I am 15 and on a day like this one I am allowed to be selfish without being judged because it is me day!! So when I get to school my two close friends who I pretty much regard as my sisters now are more excited at the prospect of me turning 15 than I am. They wish me well and hand me the sweetest gifts ever. One of them gives me the first book I am ever going to write all my profound thoughts in. The other a beautiful hand-written card and candy. 

Since school is closing today we are not really learning. My girlfriends and I are chatting away in the classroom discussing what we may be doing for the holidays, when he comes out of nowhere. We have successfully avoided each other for a month now and yet I am shocked that he is bold enough to approach me with my friends. The room suddenly goes silent. “Can I talk to you?” he asks. I nod my head and we go to our own corner. “I know we are not on talking terms but it’s your birthday. My flower turned 15 today” he hands me a beautiful flower necklace and I know that I am never going to forget it. We chat quietly between ourselves whilst he is sketching something. When he finishes I realize that he has joined the two letters of our names. “I do love you” he says and we look at each other for a brief second. In that moment something passes between us that neither of us can explain. Suddenly the scripture union teacher walks in “EY YOU TWO OVER THERE, WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT!!” he shrieks. We instantly separate as the rest of the class starts giggling and making hissing noises.  I go back to my friends smiling, asking myself if it’s normal to be in love at 15…..

The sweetAge 17

My soon to be ex-boyfriend (a different guy) has a big hockey game today. I have decided to call our relationship quits right after his game. I am impatiently waiting for the game to end and if I can be honest I do not feel very well. Why did Aunt Flo have to show up on a day when I am going to be an official heart breaker? I curse under my breath despite the slight cramps that I have, I know that I have to end our relationship. The umpire blows the whistle to signal the end of the game. The teams shake hands as a way of good sportsmanship and then they go to have a quick team briefing. I wait for him through it all, and then his friends casually greet me as they leave one by one. Soon we are left staring at each other just the two of us. “Good game”, I mutter, “Thanks” he says. We sit on one of the benches so we can talk. It only takes seconds before the atmosphere gets tense. I find myself shouting and he is not holding back either. We are exchanging words to each other, both hurtful and hateful, neither of us even stopping to think about what we are saying.  “It’s over, I can’t do this anymore!” I suddenly say. A flash of hurt abruptly masked by rage shows on his handsome face. I stand up ready to walk away. “Ummm dude” he suddenly says softly to me and I ignore him. “Thelma…” he says again and I scream an agitated “WHAT!” as I turn look at what he is staring at that has made him soften up to me. On the spot I was sitting on is a fresh big red circle, bigger than the one on the Japanese flag. I suddenly experience a shortness of breath and without being instructed to I sit down feeling really hot. I cannot even look at him but I really want to cry.  He says nothing, just stands up and starts sauntering to the hostels. That’s when the two juicy tears start flowing from my face. I can’t believe it. I am embarrassed, emotionally drained and asking God why women really have to go on periods. I cannot walk to hostel like this and in my rage I forgot to take my cell-phone so I really cannot call to ask my roommate to come and help me. I ask myself, “Who ‘spoils’ on the day they break up with their boyfriend?” Tears are starting to blind my vision but I see it, a fluffy purple fleece. I look up and there he is, looking at me. “I told people that you suddenly have a fever. Here wrap yourself and no need to pretend to look sick, you already look like death.” I just stand up and he wraps the fluffy thing around me. I notice he has a water bottle and he removes where I messed up the bench, leaving nothing behind. We walk in silence. And when we get to my hostel he holds my hand , “I will pretend like today never happened, I love you T, I really do even though I want to kill you sometimes.” that is the time I look at him and I know he means it. He gives me kiss on the cheek “Go take a shower and rest. You can give me the fleece whenever you want.” with that he walks away and I do know for a fact that we are never going to talk about what has transpired today EVER!

The Crazy – Age 19 (PS This is a True Story Guys)

We are talking on the phone and he sounds pretty excited. Apparently his team won the contract they were bidding for and by the excitement in his voice they are going to be making good money. I profusely congratulate him because I know how much it means to him but if I can be honest I couldn’t care less. “I got a really fast car baby” I roll my eyes instantly. I mean who in the 21st century woos a person with a car that they don’t even own? I am about to make up a flimsy excuse to end the call when he says something that catches my attention. “It is so fast that it can be in Masvingo from Harare in 20 minutes.”

“Is that so?” I say suddenly enjoying the banter,” if you can be in Masvingo in 20 minutes with my favourite ice-cream from KFC, I will finally agree to be your girlfriend. ” I jokingly say 

“Baby girl, consider it done.”  He says before he hangs up.  Twenty minutes later when I have forgotten my deed, I do receive a phone call but it is from a private number.

“Hello, this is Constable Matipirei; you were the last person to talk to this man before he got involved in an accident. He is in a horrible condition and will be found in Parenyatwa hospital, we are yet to call his other family members but thought to tell you first because he saved your phone number as his wife.” without waiting for a response the constable hangs up and I feel my head spinning. I think I am dreaming but when I dial his phone number it goes straight to voice mail. I don’t even know what to think my heart is rapidly beating and I am feeling nothing but dread. Through my sister’s help I manage to sneak out of the house without the parents noticing and I get a ride all the way to Harare. Upon arriving at the tollgate on the side of the road I see a black Mercedes Benz (similar to his) crushed beyond recognition with splatters of blood everywhere. I pray hoping that it isn’t his car and quickly get into another combie all the way to Parenyatwa. When I get to the reception I explain to the nurse that a friend of mine has been involved in an accident and I ask for directions as to where he may be. As soon as I tell her his name she shouts “your friend is the idiot who was over speeding. He almost got killed!!” I am only relived that he is still alive

Felix is in a horrible shape, with a broken leg, three stitches on his face, and broken ribs. “Why did you do this?” I quietly whisper trying to blink away the stubborn tears. “Because I love you” he says struggling to breath. I almost don’t hear him but I do. An elderly lady appears from nowhere and she suspiciously looks at me. “Are you the girl the constable called first?” I nod my head thinking it is the nurse… She suddenly charges at me, and I am so shocked I do absolutely nothing but hide under the hospital bed. “You almost killed my son! He was driving at 160km/hr, with a pathetic ice-cream in his hand!” she shrills. I do nothing but start to cry under the bed, too afraid to be attacked by the angry woman. “FELIX!” she screams, “You dumped Taonga for a high school child! Why did you do this, you almost died over ice-cream!!! Is there no ice-cream in Masvingo? Asi vanhu veMasvingo chii nhai?” She starts crying hysterically and I cry too. I honestly feel so bad but I am thankful that he is alive… everything that happens after that is a blur until the doctor drags me from underneath the bed as visiting time is almost over and he takes me to his office.  “He told the police that he was over speeding because his soon to be girlfriend wanted ice-cream from KFC in 20 minutes from Harare to Masvingo,” says the fat man as he hands me the police statement. “He will be alright my dear don’t worry, forgive the mother she was there when the police showed her his statement,” with that I nod my head but the doctor starts laughing. His laugh is so contagious I start laughing too, “A grown man over speeding over ice-cream, I thought I had seen it all!” he says in between his laughter. He eventually stands up to check on Felix but 

He says something that I ponder on for the rest of the year “People do crazy things for the ones they care about”…….

The memorable – Age 21     

I feel so refreshed today I am going on a date (not with Felix). Last week he asked me the one place I wanted to go to. I said I wanted to see the caves in Domboshava and that is where we are going right now. We are holding hands as he drives and he is smiling. He never smiles. To get this young man to smile is expensive but here we are holding hands smiling and acting so ‘in love’. We get to our destination (after getting lost a few times) the tour guide asks for our IDs. My date pays for our entrance and jokingly states that I am his wife. We have been playing this joke for months now every time we hang out and people don’t bother to ask. The tour guide looks at me, “You are one lucky chap” he says as he claps him on the back. They both start laughing. I have never seen him this happy if I can be honest. Domboshava is nice, but what makes it breathtaking is I am enjoying it with him. We talk, laugh, and joke even? We take pictures of each other and we get to see the caves. Well, the so-called caves. He holds my hand, or I hold his hand… Hmmm, we hold hands, and he looks really happy. If I can be honest I am happy too. So far this day is going well.

“Do you think we can be a good couple?” I ask

 “No, I know we would make a great couple.” he says a little playful, but sounding serious all the same. We look at each other for a brief moment and I start to blush as he……..

Back to present day

I switch off the music since Mai Tt’s song is finished. I may be oblivious to what love is… Hack I am still trying to figured  it out but what I do know is (singing) “L- oooooooo-vvvvveeeee is a beautiful thing yeah!!”

Thelma is an aspiring writer who wants to be the change she wants for the world.